I’m going to begin this review by stating that in no way at all am I a reviewer, I have no experience in reviewing but to hell with it – I’m going to review the shit out of Download Festival 2011!
This being the first festival I had been to, I thought I’d might as well go the whole hog and get the five day ticket. This, of course, meant that there were no bands for the first few days, but still left plenty to tell.
After the coach ride there, and unloading the cases which we had far too many of, we started the seemingly never ending walk from the drop-off point to the campsite (undoubtedly feeling longer because of the few tonnes of beer we were hauling along). With the gates in sight, my companion with whom I shared this journey fell to the floor with two broken legs, needing a few minutes for them to heal back over again. Not long later, the girls started swarming to us and we started to work the charm by offering to help with the bags. Oh, and I should probably clarify that by “girls” I mean an average blonde and the most ugly, horrible person we had ever seen – in looks and personality. Nevertheless, the blonde shown an interest in me, so my compadre agreed to feign interest in the piece of filth that was her friend, so I could at least attempt to have a horrible shag on this adventure. They offered us a camping spot next to them, or to even share the tent they had with them. We picked the former, which we would find would be a fantastic decision, though it would have been far better to never actually meet these people at all.
After a stroll around the campsite to get our bearings, the rest of the night was spent socialising and drinking in the campsite with these lasses, and the group of guys that they met up with. This first night wasn’t too bad, we spoke about nothing in general and had a pretty good time. I was told a story about past years where they met another guy called “Dan”, and how they heard somebody shouting his name over, and over, and over again, and his reply of, “Five more minutes, I’m getting some pussy!”
“Ha, what a barrel of laughs and whimsical moments!” I thought to myself with a smile, and even had a chortle when one of they would shout “Dan!” over and over again at me, since I did indeed share this name with the chap in question, and it did sound like it would have been funny to be there.
As the night rolled on, the blonde was giving me the “come-to-bed eyes” but with me being the wreck that I am when it comes to talking to the more feminine of our species – despite my history of supermodel and pornstar girlfriends – I went to bed alone that night… Well, as alone as one can be when sleeping next to your naked friend that you came with.
The next morning, we were woken at around 5:30am by the shouts of, “Dan! Dan! Dan!” I can’t say I found it as funny this time, and I also wondered when these people actually slept.
This day was mostly a day of wondering around getting stupidly drunk at a ridiculously early hour, and collecting as many high fives as we could. There is nothing much to say about this day, except finding out how ridiculously overpriced the food was. I had never been a festival before, but was expecting the food to cost more than usual, but £8 for a burrito? Ho – Ly – Shit.
The night was almost the same as the previous, except that our new acquaintances didn’t seem to want to talk to us much. This is most probably because they had sat in the same place all day, whereas we actually wanted to get the value out of our £200ish tickets. Also, whenever we came back to get more beer, they would begin that “Dan!” chant, so we would sigh, ignore them, and walk off again. I don’t regret this – these people were utter dicks. In fact, the blonde had actually seemed like an ok person before meeting up with these pedigree morons, so I blame the eventual lack of wild, crazy sex on them guys. Dicks.
Anyway, the next day the main part began, and the bands started at 1:00pm. We had our geeky, hand-scrawled timetable at the ready, and set off the see CKY.
This was a band I had been highly anticipating, despite the fact that I knew maybe three songs. Those three songs were good though, and have some fat, tasty riffs so I expected greatness. However, these highly regarded riffs could hardly be heard when they took the stage since everything seemed overly distorted. Nevertheless, 96 Quite Bitter things had me bopping away, even though the crowd seemed pretty much motionless – a scene which would be seen far too often, in my opinion.
Next up was Puddle of Mudd, another band that I had been looking forward to, except this time, the crowd seemed to enjoy it too. They mashed up Black Sabbath and ACDC songs into their set as well, which was a crowd pleaser, as well as a me pleaser. They finished with the expected She Hates Me (not that I’m complaining) and walked off after the set from a very pleased crowd.
The next bands up on each stage were bands that I weren’t too bothered about, but my homie wanted to see Royal Republic, so we set off to the Pepsi Max stage.
I walked in there expecting a very average set, since I had heard a few Royal Republic songs before, and as I recalled, I thought they were a very average band. However, almost immediately after walking into the tent, I found that I was watching a band that I was very surprised to not be crazy about. They performed a very good, energy filled set of songs I didn’t know, but had me partying along to it anyway, and had me leaving afterwards knowing that so far, the band I originally didn’t care for was much better than the two that had me excited.
"Hey everybody, check out how cool I look!"
After leaving this tent, we headed back to the main stage where we caught the end of Duff McKagen’s Loaded, where as their final song they played It’s So Easy from back in his Gun N’ Roses days. I found this quite funny, since the bands were all finishing with their best songs, so it was almost as if Duff was saying that nothing he has done in this band could top the classic Appetite For Destruction album from when he was in Guns N’ Roses, which is indeed true. The music did sound good from the little that we heard, but hearing someone that wasn’t Axl Rose sing a Guns N’ Roses song is never as good as the original.
Next up was Black Stone Cherry, who I had heard a while back and thought I remembered they were pretty good. The effort they put in was apparent, but musically I thought they were pretty average, and once again the crowd seemed not too bothered by the show they were watching. It is worth noting, though, that the surprising cover of Rolling In The Deep by Adele was very good, and a song that I enjoyed a lot, especially since I think that the original is a load of tosh.
We caught a little bit of Thin Lizzy afterwards, but then left to get something to eat, but from what I saw of the set, they sounded very average. Also, maybe it’s just me, but I find Think Lizzy quite creepy without Phil Lynott. It is some guy singing what another man wrote and sung before him, so I try to see it more like a tribute band rather than some guy trying to cash in on a dead rockstar’s band.
After munching something that was possibly Chinese food, we headed back to see Alter Bridge. I thought these guys sounded good, and Miles Kennedy’s voice is incredible, but yet again, the crowd was stood almost motionless, with maybe a few people just pumping their fists in the air. This was a band I enjoyed, but wasn’t too familiar with. However I can say that the one song I did know (I’m ashamed to say from the days that I used to watch wrestling) is Metalingus, which sounded awesome.
Next up were a band that could have been very hit or miss… The Darkness. It was their first big show since reuniting, and I was thinking how people would either love them or think they were cheesy. However, one look around before they played shown that people had piled in the masses to see this band, and for good reason. Each of their songs were performed flawlessly and had the first massive crowd reaction that I had seen. They performed a new song too entitled Cannonball, which leads me to expect more greatness of a similar style in the next album. Thankfully, The Darkness don’t seem to be a band that will change to a new style, or go through one of these dreadful “experimental” phases that some bands seem to find a good idea.
After this fantastic performance, we were left to wait for the legendary Def Leppard. I feel it is important to note that a lot of people seemed pretty displeased at the announcement of Def Leppard, since it wasn’t that long ago that they last played, but since I had never been to a festival before, I was totally psyched for them. However, it only took two songs later until we decided to leave. They were very disappointing, and far past their prime. The singer couldn’t sing, and the music just simply didn’t sound very good. Especially after following the amazing show that The Darkness gave, Def Leppard left the night with an epic anti climax.
On the way out, despite my compadre’s protests, we stopped for a short while for Pendulum. We only stopped for one song, which happened to be Witchcraft, and I must say that I loved it.
After getting back to the tent for a beer, we found that the idiots we were camped next to had seemingly not moved at all for the whole day. Wow, they sure know how to make good use out of their ticket, huh? We then spent the rest of the night partying in the Doghouse and stumbling around telling people that they looked hot. I know, we are classy guys.
The next morning, quite unsurprisingly, we were woken at early hours in the morning by the fools next to our tent. I can’t remember if they were chanting my name again, all I remember is that I wanted them dead. Well ok, maybe not dead… just far away from me, and in lots of agony. We then recalled getting back to our tent the previous night and pouring ketchup all over the zips of their tents – and you don’t get much more rock and roll than sauce related tomfoolery. So at the very least, this prank made us feel a little happier than usual about being next to these people.
Just look at how proud we look.
The first band that we wanted to see on the Saturday was The Bosshoss, but we ended up getting there a little early and catching the last half of Rise To Remain. I hadn’t heard of Rise To Remain before, and I must say, they suck. The singer was full of energy and trying to pump the ever-so-stubbornly-still crowd, but I didn’t enjoy it, and as far as I can gauge from the crowd reaction, they didn’t either.
As much as the crowd did not react to them, at least they had a rather large crowd, which is more than can be said for The Bosshoss. It is a band that I had been looking forward to, but I couldn’t help notice that the band seemed a little disappointed by the small crowd they were playing to. I did personally enjoy the set, but I can understand why a country rock band wouldn’t have much of a reaction at a rock and metal festival, even if they were playing the more rock songs, rather than the heavily country influenced ones.
Next up, we had the dilemma of picking between Rock Sugar and Skindred, so we ended up staying for Rock Sugar, with the reasoning that Skindred tour far more often than Rock Sugar, so we could catch them another time. Rock Sugar performed a fantastic mashup set, from the opening song Don’t Stop The Sandman, to the final We Will Kickstart Your Rhapsody. It was a very energy filled set, with crowd participation. Rock Sugar are a band that don’t take themselves too seriously, and this makes them seem even better. Their crowd banter between songs was very enjoyable too: “Do you guys want to hear a new song? Well all of our songs are twenty years old…” Overall, it was a very enjoyable set which I’m glad to have been at, though seeing the crowd for Skindred go absolutely mental made me think that either band would have been an amazing band to see.
Next were Dio Disciples. I recognised some of the songs, and the singers did very good jobs of Dio songs, but an opinion of mine that always seems to cause controversy is that I never really thought Dio was as good as everybody made out. Nonetheless, the crowd still enjoyed it, despite it seeming similar to Thin Lizzy, with people making money off of a dead man’s music.
Mr Big took the stage next, and this was a band that I had been excited about seeing since the day it was announced that they were playing, and they definitely did not disappoint. Playing all of the favourites from before the reunion, and some guitar shredding, and even a bass vs. guitar battle, it was a set that certainly put it in my overall top three out of every band I saw over the three day period. Eric Martin performed flawlessly on vocals, despite him be considerably older that when the songs he sang were recorded, Paul Gilbert played as amazing as would be expected from what I feel is one of the world’s best guitarists, Billy Sheehan surprised me with just how incredibly skilled he was on the bass guitar, and Pat Torpey played as good as ever on the drums, keeping the high tempo, energy filled songs such as Colorado Bulldog going without a single hitch.
Seriously, these guys are incredible.
After this incredible set, we got some food and made it back in time to catch the last few Cheap Trick songs, and from what I saw they were also very good. The singer was dressed to impress in his bright white sailor suit, and it was a generally fun gig to have been part of the crowd for.
The penultimate act for the second stage was Twisted Sister, and was yet another band that I had very high hopes for. However, this time round, much like with Def Leppard, they left me feeling disappointed, so we left for a few more beers after a few songs, and considered which headliner to see out of Alice Cooper and System of a Down.
After making our return, we decided on System of a Down, since we knew more songs by them, despite preferring the few songs we had heard by Alice Cooper. This was my first regret of the festival, because although the songs performed by System did indeed sound good, I was expecting better from such a highly anticipated band. The crowd did seem to enjoy it, but I felt that it was simply because it was System of a Down, rather than because they were actually performing a fantastic show, which they certainly weren’t. Don’t get me wrong – they were good, but they could have done so much better.
After the bands, we had a similar night to the night before and headed band to the tent, ready for Sunday.
By the time we made it to the arena, Madina Lake were taking the stage. These were a band that I wasn’t fussed about seeing at all, but much like Royal Republic, I was left feeling very pleasantly surprised by the band. The crowd reaction was great, and although I didn’t know any of the songs, I can say that after seeing them live, I became a fan.
After this surprisingly good set, Bowling For Soup took the stage, and began a fantastic set which everyone knew would be good from the opening line by Jaret Reddick: “Hey, we’re Bowling For Soup and we’re the greatest band on Earth!” They played a set that even people that didn’t like pop-punk could enjoy, featuring all of the best songs, mid-song plectrum stunts, and even a large inflatable dick fucking a large inflatable sheep in the ass. What more could anybody want?
Next up were The Pretty Reckless, a band which I was looking forward to seeing for two reasons: I had seen them once before and they played an amazing energy filled set, and secondly they had Taylor Momsen in the band – a girl that I would love to destroy in the bedroom. Seriously, I would tear that girl in half. Unfortunately though, the sound quality seemed to be totally messed up, with Taylor’s ear-monitors not working, and so delaying the set, and a strange distorted sound coming from Ben’s backing vocals. The crowd reaction wasn’t good at all for The Pretty Reckless, but I would encourage people to not be put off by this and to go and see them live at their own show, where they were astoundingly good. Also, it is worth mentioning that Taylor lifted up her top to show off her bare chest, with her nipples covered only by tape. Totally got something for the wank-bank right there.
By this time, the rain was heaving down, so we headed off to the Pepsi Max Stage, which was covered by a tent. Here we saw T-34 play a fun set of classic crowd pleasers, such as Led Zeppelin and Deep Purple. They played well, and were a bit of fun, but were nothing astounding.
Though you can't deny that the singer had style.
Next we had the highly anticipated Buckcherry, playing a bunch of sleazy rock and roll songs, and playing them well. Josh Todd's vocals were flawless, as were the rest of the band. The set was good but, but in my opinion, lacked as much energy as there could have been. Though maybe that was because of the static crowd yet again (other than the wet and muddy American girls dancing away in front of us – seriously, I think I may have been watching them more than the actual band. Yum.).
After this, we thought we’d avoid the quite annoying-looking average metalcore band Black Veil Brides and head back to the Pepsi Max tent where we could find shelter. Here we heard for the first time a band called Framing Hanley, who preformed a pretty good energy filled set that had the crowd moving and singing along. For a band that hadn’t even made it into my radar before Download (not that that is saying much), I did really enjoy this band, and I especially enjoyed the warmth.
After they finished playing, we headed back out into the drizzle to see The Cult, who were yet another band that sounded very good, and yet had a completely static crowd. I didn’t know any of the songs, as it was my compadre’s choice to come and see these, but it was a set that I enjoyed nonetheless.
Finally was a band that I was expecting to be good, but was absolutely amazing. I am, of course talking about Rob Zombie. From the moment the band took stage (and even before that) the crowd were chanting “ZOMBIE!” and going wild. As well as sounding tremendous, they also looked astounding, and were the reason that many of the crowd had come dressed as the undead. The stage show was incredible, with cheesy horror scenes being shown on the large screen, burning robots and dancing skeletons. Ginger Fish’s drum solo had the crowd partying, and John 5’s extended guitar solo was enough to melt the face of every attendee. After seeing this set, I can firmly say that Rob Zombie stole the show overall at Download Festival.
With all the bands finished, we headed back for our final night of discomfort in a tent and looked forward to getting back to our homes the next day – not to say that we didn’t enjoy the festival, in fact it was amazing and well worth every penny, but any longer of roughing it in a campsite and living off beer and burritos would probably have killed me.
Seriously, I was already this monged out by Sunday.
In order of best first, I would say that the top five were: Rob Zombie, The Darkness, Mr Big, Bowling For Soup, Rock Sugar.
Keep on rocking, people, and I will see you again next year!
You can follow me on Twitter if that kind of thing floats your boat.
You can follow me on Twitter if that kind of thing floats your boat.
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